dirt for everyone.
April 15, 2010
There has been something whirling around in my head for awhile now, and I’m trying to look it in the eye with some extra love rather than ignore it and retreat in defeat, avoidance, anxiousness, etc. It’s something I know I’m not alone in by far. I know SO many mamas out there struggle with it, too. It’s the whole balancing act between being a full-time mama and being an artist. I’ve been trying not to think of these as separate, knowing full well that being a mama IS quite creative. It’s more about actually creating “art” –because I want+need to and because it makes me happy. I miss it.
I have really been shy and have had mixed feelings about blogging, too, since I rarely have new art to share. (That was the reason I started blogging). I even stopped looking at a lot of blogs, because I have a lot less time, but also because it’s kinda discouraging.
I feel like my art has been on hold with the exception of short spurts here or there. The how-and-when really stump me. Every week is different, too. Sometimes I think I’ve found something that works, and then next week, it doesn’t. And sometimes I feel a little lost or like I’m falling behind.
I really can see the bigger picture though and know that time flies faster than my struggles. AND, I wouldn’t trade my time with Tulsi for anything! This is just my present moment, and I’m noticing that. I know some friends have this “perfect” picture of me, imagining me easily keeping up with everything and doing my art. Um, no. Not quite. But I certainly try. One thing that does make me feel more positive is seeing friends like Amy (with a grown-up kid) who is doing her art full-on and very successful. And so I know I won’t stop being an artist, even if I’ve slowed some for now.
It’s nice that I don’t spend too much time thinking about all this during the days. I’m too busy playing with my girl! Today was one of those ‘most’ perfectly perfect days in every way. We spent almost all day outside and in the greenhouse… I just love that Tulsi loves playing in dirt (which was her 2nd word in between turtle and tree). She was so content while I transplanted broccoli, cauliflower, zinnias, marigolds, and lettuces… It is going to be fun when she can start helping more, too. Here’s a dreamy glimpse of just a fraction of our greenhouse! It is nutzoid.
We had our first farmer’s market meeting last week! The thought of having a stand at the market all season is SO exciting. It’s such a fun way to be a part of our community and to inspire people with flowers and organic food. I think Tulsi will love it, too. The first market day is May 15th, and we are planning to sell veggie and herb starts, annual and perrenial flower starts, and bulk basil, mixed salad greens, kale, chard, spinach, arugula, and more. I gotta start thinking of signage and ways to make our stand super sweet and fun!
The other REALLY exciting news here on the homestead relates back to my struggle with art and time… I know this may not be the end-all answer, BUT, it may very well be a HUGE help. In this picture (my view from the greenhouse), Patrick is busy digging the foundation trench for our bedroom!! Yep, that’s right. Our wee, one-room house is about to grow…meaning, I can actually work at night when Tulsi is sleeping…I’ll be able to turn my studio lights ON and even make a little noise, and, as long as I have the energy, I can see to paint! Yay!!! (I have a feeling that the energy will come with the freedom/space to create!)
If all goes well, it will be finished the end of May. We are doing strawbale construction, a natural form of building that is super insulated and perfect for here. It will have mud walls and a mud floor. I keep telling Tulsi, “We’re making you a dirt room!” Another great part of it is that Patrick is building it with our builder-friend, who promises to demystify building. Every guy’s dream, right? I’m already making a list of future building projects for Patrick to tackle…a mudroom, chicken coop, meditation/yoga hut, a studio…
I know I’m a little all over the place in this post, but it helps me to see once again how energy follows thought. And with persistence, patience, heart and sweat, soon something will change.
24 Responses to “dirt for everyone.”
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April 16th, 2010 at 2:17 am
Your garden looks so beautiful.
The way you live is quite inspiring.
April 16th, 2010 at 3:31 am
‘i would not trade this time with Tulsi for anything’ says it all & its clear that you know that. The other thing you know is that the whole notion of rhythm has been redefined by the never-the-same-world-twice time of a new person. That is the two-edged sword of a true wilderness. I don’t know anyone more prepared to dance on that edge and I love that you are sharing. If you miss literal art-making, think of it as another pregnancy, think of it as having traded places with Tulsi. It is as close and real and fed by everything you do as she was, and is. Keep writing. Private writing. Take pictures of your thoughts. Sonograms. (sp? ;-)
April 16th, 2010 at 4:34 am
Hi Jenny,
I have to say that I am very surprised that you feel you are not balancing your art and Tulsi very well. You seem to manage to play with Tulsi all day, make art for wonderful childrens books, keep up with a blog, plus grow your own vegetables! That is quite an accomplishment with a 1 year old!
I am sure that it will keep getting easier as she gets older as well. Arun is suddenly sleeping through the night and now I feel like I have so much more time. Not being completely exhausted all the time really helps.
It looks like you have carved out a wonderful life for you and your little family with a great community of like minded people. I agree with Jacqueline that your life is very inspiring. Just keep on doing exactly what you are doing.
xo
Rachel
April 16th, 2010 at 7:04 am
HOW EXCITING that last photo is! Awesome Jenny, that will make a big difference for you …space. Yes, all that art and creativity is still alive within you hmmmm, maybe in a fluid state – it just hasn’t taken a solid form yet, but as you know I always say that life is very long and the opportunities will be bountiful – like your garden. This is a little ironic, but I totally remember the years when I had time and energy limitations on my ability to work and found you via the internet and you inspired me so much (and still do) and was so encouraged that one day I might be able to have that lifestyle, where I could work “full on” as you say and put all my energy into it. You will be surprised how fast this time with Tulsi goes, I always say the first year is the longest, but with each independent step she takes, your opportunities will start to present themselves.
April 16th, 2010 at 9:24 pm
Kap Kuhn Kah! Your place reminds me of Huerfano, a book I read in college studying “utopias”. However, you are truly living the homestead life successfully out there! I conratulate you and send you many blessings and farm luck! I was writing a post on Holy Basil and your site came up. Glad I was able to be in your space, if only for a moment. I think your book-in-the-works will be very successful. The phrase sticks to many.
Sincerely,
jloo in VT
April 17th, 2010 at 10:27 am
hi Rachel! it is always changing/evolving, like i wrote. i have been more challenged lately, so instead of writing when things were totally in balance, i wrote now. that is just awesome that Arun is sleeping better! my friend just told me her son is, too. (he’s around 16 months)…i know that part just takes time. tulsi is napping well lately (since her couple teeth popped up) and im trying to stay more organized so i can get mor done in that time. are you finding more time for your art? and yes!! i feel so blessed with our community and life! this gardenseason is gonna rock!! i hope you 3 are well! xoj
April 17th, 2010 at 10:29 am
thanks, Jacqeline. your life and art is beautiful, too!
April 17th, 2010 at 10:35 am
mmmm, i love what you wrote, jude. this time is outrageously rare and sweet and it will be fun to see what ‘art’ comes from all that is now, and so on. i’ve been wanting to create some lettering/writing pieces based on tulsi’s first words and have been thinking of you for inspiration!
April 17th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
awww, thanks, Amy. and for your email, too. i know you are right — it is alive. sometimes it’s just burstin’ to get out! hee. i know it will. and again, i love your positive view on life and it’s fullness. it’s the only way to really approach life, huh? i reallllly hope you can come out in the Fall… xo
April 17th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
hi JessyLOO! so nice to read your comment. i have your herbaloo blog bookmarked to read during some web time soon. thanks for the positiveness on our book in progress. i appreciate it! and VT is a place we want to visit some day. a lotta nice homesteads up there, too. i have to say, i feel like this “MY” homesteadopia. i feel SO lucky. each and every day. thanks for stopping by. have a great growing season up there!
April 18th, 2010 at 3:18 am
Hi Jenny,
Have admired your work for a while now and as an artist and mother of 3 I feel your pain! I understand your feelings exactly and always know that your art will always protect and guide you through your life’s ups and downs. Even when it’s hard to find the time, creating is a neccessity and brings balance to your soul!
Allison
April 18th, 2010 at 9:35 am
Hi Jenny,
your post brought to mind a documentary I just became aware of “Who does she think she is?” about five women artists struggling to balance parenting and work, partnering and independence, economics and art. Check it out, your not alone!
http://www.whodoesshethinksheis.net/
Keep up the good work!
ps.
Saw the new Hillside illustrations on line. Great as always!
April 18th, 2010 at 9:36 am
This post really moves me. I so adore your artwork, and I empathize very much with the conflict between being a mom & an artist (as I am both). I have a 1 1/2 year old and a 3 1/2 year old, and it is a true struggle to do ‘it all.’ But don’t despair. As soon as your little girl can go to preschool, you will have time again to create uninterruptedly! In the meantime, be kind to yourself and enjoy your little one! Hugs to you.
April 18th, 2010 at 4:20 pm
And once we think we’re balanced… poof! We have to relearn to stand on two feet :) I see this as a time of growth and learning — an adventure! Before you know it, you’ll be painting WITH Tulsi!
You are such an inspiration to me Jenny! I read your blog often — thank you dearly for sharing the beauty of your “world.” It’s wonderful and uplifting to see spirituality seep in and dance with illustration.
I was at a shop in Minnesota called “The Nest” and saw some of your art on the walls – from Oopsy Daisy, perhaps? I gasped, “I know her!” …even though on a physical plane, I don’t at all! Through you work I see your soul shine, I see it so vividly!
Another odd thing – I’m about to move to Asheville, North Carolina and stay with a woman named Leah Baker. She was browsing my website “links” page and found your Dancing Elephant Studio. She told me that she went to the same school in California and graduated the same year as Patrick! I don’t think she knows him personally though… what a tiny world.
Thank you again for the inspiration – I can’t wait to see where life leads you!
Namaskar,
Katie
April 18th, 2010 at 5:07 pm
Oh dear. I know you know that I know exactly how you feel. I’m in the same boat… finding time to do art. not blogging much anymore. not reading blogs (except a few like yours!) but so in love with my little girl.
It’ll all work out. It always does. :)
And YAY YAY YAY for your new bedroom! And yay yay yay for the farmer’s market! That is Sooooooo cool.
April 18th, 2010 at 5:08 pm
oh, and in my yoga immersion master hours thing that I’m a part of… we are talking a lot about ahimsa. I try to apply that to myself. Not beating myself up for my art slowing down. For the shift in priority. Be gentle. :)
April 19th, 2010 at 3:36 am
Being a Momma and giving your time and attention is the ultimate gift. I can remember how it was. (had twins who are in their 20′s now) I sometimes felt like I had traded in my life as I had known it for another completely different life, that of someone’s mom! Where was the *I* in all of this?
Looking back on it all, I now think of those years with my young children as some of the best of my life. I was so fortunate to have been able to stay home with them and share in all the precious moments.
I didn’t get much art done then, but it came out in different ways, in my home, garden, gift making, ect.
Now, on the other side of child raising, I am back at my art full time, and have wonderful adult children and many sweet memories.
By the way, saw this little story on the web and thought of your interest in chai, it’s here if you have time to read! Blessings! http://yashaswi.deviantart.com/art/The-Thing-About-Chai-159858384
April 19th, 2010 at 6:46 am
I am sending you all my art-love, and I am SO happy that soon your art will have a room of it’s own (so to speak) even as Tulsi gets here own room.
I clean houses to make ends meet, and so I think a lot about dwellings and the people who dwell within them. One can look at a house-space as an external reflection of head-space, I think, so it only makes sense that as your mind and heart and soul have expanded to love Tulsi, your home must therefore expand to have a place for her.
April 19th, 2010 at 9:53 am
Hi Jenny,
I wish I could taste your veggies in that greenhouse!
No, I am not really making my own art yet but many ideas are drifting around in my head. I did have a great freelance project this past week that has really inspired me to start shooting again. I am looking to somehow make photography creative and inspiring but also profitable….I have always kept my art separate from my paid work, but now I am feeling more and more to combine the two…I think it will be very rewarding when it starts to happen!
April 20th, 2010 at 7:07 am
thanks, Penny. i know you know. tulsi and i are in such a sweet groove, and with the new bedroom, i think i’ll find just the right amount of studio time to really balance it all out — AND finish my book/jobs. the personal art i can make in my head for now, but you know, the jobs can’t wait. i’m just amazed at how the bedroom building is actually happening when just a month before it seemed so far out of reach. and YES. ahimsa. there is always more wats to be gentle to ourselves (and others)! wish i could sip some chai with you and hear about all your yoga training. i’m really so happy you are able to do it! and YAY!!! for the farmer’s market….we need a name! haven’t settle on one yet…and then i can dive into signage and fun decoration for our stand! hope you are well. xo,j
April 20th, 2010 at 5:39 pm
Okay…this is my first time ever posting something on a blog….but I found you and your artwork first in your book My Travelin’ Eye and then here on the internet. Maybe you really really really need to know just how darn inspiring you are to people out here:)
I have three boys, 10, 7 and just turned 5:) Oh my. And my husband travels almost 4 days a week. I commute my boys 30 minutes one way to an amazing Montessori school and I have been working and struggling and stopping and starting and crying and loving and laughing my way through my art over the years. I have let the art teach me and shape me not only as an artist but as a mother and wife and woman over the years.
I am self taught and that has always made me feel so inadequate. But, something was born in me a few years ago…a new medium….and now I am almost done with my very first children’s book:) Maybe just a handful of people will ever read it or see it, but I did it…I finished it. All the starts and stops and letting go and starting again took so much practice for me, but now I use time with my boys to collect ideas….to watch and observe them, nature, emotion, God…until I can spread it out in the studio and put all of that frolicking in my head onto a page:)
Your work is so so joyous and I just love reading your blog and your words. Thank you for sharing your art with others…..you inspire…..even when your art is simply living:)
April 23rd, 2010 at 8:43 pm
wow, Chrissy. thanks for your comment. for the nice words and even more, for sharing about your life as an artist and mama. three! impressive! i love that you wrote “crying, loving and laughing” because we sure wouldn’t last if we didn’t laugh a lot, too! i also look forward to growing as an artist and mother with my kids! no doubt, she/they will be some of my greatest teachers.
as for self-taught artists, i so respect your dedication and path. one of my favorite artist friends is self taught (kelly buntin…in my link list–check her work out! her husband, too…!!) and for your children’s book! how can i see it? are you self publishing or do you have a publisher? maybe we can trade with my next book?
April 23rd, 2010 at 8:52 pm
hi Katie! oh, funny and sweet to get your comment because i adore your work and spirit and life-glimpses, too. my friend betsy sent me your site some months ago and i was so happy she did! your work is beautiful and so happy. if you ever make it out to NM, come visit! that is odd, too, about your friend. i told patrick—such a small world. he reminded me how two other women from the same school (but dif years) live within a mile of us (in the middle of nowhere, mind you!) asheville sounds like such a special place. we have friends there, too! do you have a blog? best of luck with your move and your art. xo, jenny
April 27th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Hi Jenny!
I checked out your friend, Kelly Buntin…wow! she is just amazing:) I love seeing other artists who were able to find their artistic voice without formal training…it gives me such hope:)
As for my children’s book, I am self publishing…yet, still not entirely sure even how it will go….this is all a great big journey for me and I am dedicated to letting the book take its own path. I am really just trying to stay out of the way.
I have had some offers to help me get it printed and I have found a great local photographer to photograph the art. I have the concept and end result all tied up in my head, so I am just crossing my fingers I can get it to look something like that out here in the real world:) I would love any tips you might have and I would be absolutely THRILLED to have someone other than my friends, husband and three terrifically (and lovingly) biased children see it. You are very sweet:)