my cathedral (at least one of them)
March 8, 2010
Last night I soaked outside under the most magnificent sky I’ve seen in awhile. They are all amazing, for sure, but this one, mucho. It was after a peculiar, cold winter rain — an unfamiliar humidity mixed with smokey cedar air. Snow was in the forecast but not a cloud. A crystal clear, deep sky was glittered with star clusters and distant lightening flashes. Jet black giant sunflower stalks shook in the wind like those clumsy, squatty playground horsies atop fat, rusty springs. The garden lay hibernating under a foot of packed snow. 104 degree water warming me to my core. I thought, THIS is my cathedral. Without a doubt. Sacred. Expansive. The stillness, peace, and beauty that I taste in these moments I try to carry with me throughout all other moments.
We had just watched the first part of the Joseph Campbell interviews, Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth, recorded in the late 80s in George Lucas’ home. (still can’t believe I haven’t seen them before now!!) WOW. So interesting and Inspiring! Can’t wait to watch the rest. And Amen, JC! I am SO following ‘my BLISS’.
While I just don’t have much time to paint right now, I’m writing a lot! 3×5″ cards with scribbled story bits are filling a cigar box waiting to be stitched together. A perfect style that doesn’t intimidate me like a blank notebook. Another way of sowing seeds. They’ll also need time, attention, incubation, sunshine. They are mostly filled with ramblings and phrases like,”feathery familiar guiding a wandering, wondering, four-eyed ladybug”, that really only make sense to me. My own language. An under-drawing to who knows what. I love it.
I recently got a wild idea to host a creative retreat with a few kids’ book author/illustrator friends. It’s starting to take shape. Yay! It has already ignited a healthy, hot flame under my Polish doopa, to write some new stories. Fingers and toes crossed it manifests. It’s just what I am needing. Plus, it will be fun to share my ‘little’ cathedral with them.
Winter has been full. Spring is ‘here’, crocuses just popped thru the ground. And it’s snowing again. Pink mountains. A greenhouse vibrating with so much new life. And Tulsi is 11 months old! Wow…so much to celebrate…
a little interview on progressive pioneer…
February 17, 2010
Amy, a super cool and inspiring mama/urban-homesteader, posted a little interview with me today over on progressive pioneer. It’s thoughts on being a mama and artist. Thanks Amy, for the opportunity to reflect. Y’know, all this — being a mama, building a homestead, gardening (and now being farmers at the market) — we’re just learning as we go. We don’t always know what the heck we’re doing, BUT we do have good instincts and know how to trust them. And we are confident in knowing what feels right for us. We feel SO crazy blessed that we have the opportunities to live the way we do.
AND, I want to add, we are surrounded by countless “progressive pioneers” (as Amy defines it) — from history, from cultures around the world, and definitely the present (our amazing, little community here) AND so many more. Yay for that. I love my little life and everything and everyone that inspires us to keep makin it real.
Tulsi’s Turtle.
February 8, 2010
My dear friend Kelly Buntin Johnson beaded this beautiful umbilical turtle fetish for Tulsi. Both the turtle and her poem are a rare gift and blessing — I had to share it! If you don’t know Kelly’s art, you must. It is powerful, beautiful and heart-full.
Kelly told me last Spring that she wanted to make this for our baby. She wrote, “Such a piece of artwork is traditionally created for a baby to have attached to their cradleboard and then worn on clothing or tied in hair throughout life. This is a Lakota tradition. Also Cheyenne. A piece of the dried umbilical cord is placed inside along with other powerful bits and pieces.” For Tulsi’s first birthday in April, Patrick and I plan to place a piece of her cord and our own blessings inside the turtle; what we want her to carry with her throughout her life. For now, her turtle has found a home hanging from the magical tree above her bed. And it’s official, after “Mama” and “Papa”, “Turtle” is Tulsi’s first word. She loves to say it over and over when she looks up at her turtle. Thank you Auntie Kelly! I love having you as a friend, and I love that Tulsi will know you in her life. You are an inspiration to me in many ways.
a vessel for umbilical cord
a tie to mother who birthed us
a tie to Mother Earth upon whom we walk
in grace, beauty, and honor.
the shape of this vessel differs
among the People
lizard, turtle
snake, horned toad
abstractions empowered
with
prayers of protection
and longevity.
a talisman
a turtle
for Tulsi.
may she walk mindfully upon Mother Earth
as she reaches high towards Father Sky.
kelly
7 janvier 2010
it was a green, snowy day…
February 3, 2010
One moment Tulsi and I were staring out the window at grayness, the next we were harvesting arugula for lunch. It happened! Our dome came to life! Despite subzero nights, seeds we planted 5 weeks ago somehow grew. A miracle at 8000ft! Since we returned from the ocean, we’ve been eating arugula, kale, and spinach daily. It’s incredibly yummy and so full of PRANA! Trays of wheatgrass are almost ready to juice, AND chard, carrots, beets, and more greens are already showing their first leaves.
Patrick has been working so hard to get our dome growing, and now it’s happening. Yay! Growing our own food –especially in the middle of winter– is one of the most exciting things in life! We are creating our homestead little by little. C’mon by for lunch…
surrender.
February 1, 2010
Been practicing. Surrendering that is. To time mostly. To the changes in my life since becoming a mother. With each day and night, no matter if it goes as planned or not. To my art, in appreciation for completion, even if it took a week or more. I’m learning it’s much easier to swim along with the current. My arms get too tired trying to swim upstream. I’m seeing more and more that there are a lot of different creative ways of being.
I painted this image last week both for myself and as part of a collaborative project. I think it’s so important to make time for projects that I WANT to make happen — not just paying, contracted projects. Even when, or maybe I should say “especially when”, time is most precious.
After I typed in my last post about going on adventures, Patrick, Tulsi, Oso and I hiked down to the Rio Grande. Only a 12-minute drive across the mesa and a 20-minute hike down into the gorge, for an hour visit with a beautiful river. Total bliss, really.
Surrendering also, to the beauty and blessings that are abundant in my life. It amazes me that Tulsi gets to grow up in such beauty and nature.
Ma Time.
Hey there! We’re back! Tulsi and I took a spontaneous adventure to the ocean (3 days notice) to spend a week with my parents. It was Patrick’s idea, and I jumped at it. Ma-Time. Tulsi + me, and me + my mama… Ten days and zero distractions (work, chores, lists not getting crossed off…and the anxiety that goes along with the slow progression of each of those things.) Instead, we had abundant warm weather, great naps, awesome+long yoga sessions (!!!), 2-3 hours walking every day, lots of pool time, much-needed rest, and *priceless* amounts of grandparent attention and love.
And what a confidence booster for me, too. Sounds funny, but it’s true. Mama-confidence that is. Tulsi and I were in total sync with each other. I’d say she was super happy 99.9% of the time (the .1% being part of the 4 hr car ride to albuquerque). She communicated so clearly — I felt like I knew everything she was telling me, and vice versa. The thought crossed my mind how much easier it would be to be a full-time mama, instead of a full-time mama AND a part-to-full-time artist (during naps and late nights). But it was only a flashing thought because ideas for stories and paintings flooded my head during our long walks. Yay for fresh inspiration!
Makes me think of this page from my sketchbook from years ago…
I know that as my head was filling, so was Tulsi’s…and she talked NON-STOP about EVERYTHING she saw and experienced. She made my parents and me (and everyone we passed by) smile out loud. Her eyes were wide open and sparkling, her mouth stretched long and exaggerated, revealing her two, sweet bottom teeth, as she whispered or exclaimed every wonder into the wind. She waved at the palm tree giants, sang to the moon, reached for the birds, and patted the massive roots of Banyon trees like she does to Oso. She has given me the most amazing gift of seeing the world for the first time AGAIN. and again. and again. And I hope to keep giving her the gift of travel, which inspires me again, and again — whether it’s to the other side of the world, a road trip somewhere new, or a spontaneous trip to the ocean.
And the ocean! True Ma Time. Tulsi flapped so wildly I thought for sure she’d fly away, taking me with her! Her shrieks and giggles roared even louder than the crashing waves and powerful, whipping winds. And I swear, the ocean colored her eyes bluer. The ocean always fills me with peace, strength and delight, and she obviously had the same affect on Tulsi.
Our trip reminded me to go on adventures with Tulsi every day. I feel so refreshed and have a lot to share. More soon.
mesa del sol, new mexico
January 13, 2010
Last year I worked with two fun, new clients — Strada Advertising, and their client, Mesa del Sol, New Mexico. Mds is an exciting new land development in Albuquerque focusing on sustainability, both with the environment and daily life. This is one of several illustrations I did for their new upcoming website and ad campaign. It is the main Town Center and farmers’ market, as envisioned. Once the new site launches, I’ll post the remaining art and link. I’m especially excited to see the animations created with my images!
begin anywhere.
January 5, 2010
New mama or not. Teeny pockets of time or more time than you know what to do with. Scared like crazy or feelin’ brave. Bouncin’ or flyin’. Exhausted or wide awake. Deadline or not. In the studio or in the kitchen. Saying you’re sorry. Saying I love you. Asking for help. Consoling a baby. Writing a book. Not knowing or thinking you do.
Begin anywhere.
These two words were given to me, as a mantra of sorts, years ago, and they have come rolling back into my life lately. Over and over. Begin anywhere. Begin anywhere. Begin anywhere.
9 full moons and a new year.
December 31, 2009
I blinked, and another year happened.
Ten years ago, I traveled to Asia for the first time and had so many adventures in such a short time that those 3 weeks felt like 3 months. Tonight is the ninth full moon to rise over our mountains since the night Tulsi flew into the world. It’s all happened at light speed and yet I’ve breathed so much slower these months, soaking up every giggle and snuggle; every monumental milestone and EVERY single “Mama!” So many new moments as a mama, that I swear, in the moment, feel like they are tatooed into my being and perfectly etched into my memory. I know details will fade in time, but the essence IS changing me. I am me, different from yesterday. She’s the best thing that’s every happened to me. Patrick says the same thing.
One thing I love about being a mama is the continual change. She keeps me on my toes, alert and dancing. She’s such an appreciate soul, too, clapping at my every effort to amuse, support, and even console. And I LOVE that I get to know her better than anyone; that she looks to me to find creative solutions to each new phase of our learning and growing together.
Looking back, I’m pretty amazed, too, at everything I’ve somehow been able to accomplish during this time. Those first four months were tough! FULL ON. You just don’t know until you know. No extra time and no energy even if there was. Even though I was totally blissed out, I remember wondering, how will I ever have time for my art again? But we’ve since found our rhythm, and sleep and art and yoga have slowly found spaces in my days again. My next kid’s book is (just about) finished, and I started writing new stories. It’s fun wondering what book will come next. I haven’t made any ‘personal art’, as in just-for-me-art (except in my head), but I’ve been lucky that my books and some jobs have felt like it. Patrick and I are working every day now on finishing our book Chai Pilgrimage. We are giddy about seeing it come more to life, and excited about our adventure in self-publishing. I also recently began collaborating with two women on a “dream project” that we will pitch to publishers in the new year. I look forward to sharing several illustration projects from 2009 as soon as they are released, too. I may even be partnering with a new agent for my licensing work — fingers and toes crossed – someone I’ve worked with and respect a ton! I hope it works out, as I think it will be a great relationship.
So much I am looking forward to in this next year!
And blogging. Yeah…I hope to do more! It’s pretty awesome, realizing the beautiful relationships I have with friends in my life who I met solely thru this creative blog community. Thanks everyone, for playing here and on your blogs.
I hope you are all enjoying the STUNNING + Magnificently powerful FULL blue moon tonight! May its magic bring you whatever it is you need. I’m going outside to soak and let go into the new year. Peace and blessings. And Happy New Year!
happy solstice!
December 21, 2009
Today may have been the shortest day of the year, but it was incredibly bright and beautiful. The soltice(s) are two of my favorite days of the year. I’m grateful, as always, for the excess sunshine here! And…a long, awesome yoga session this morning, sprouts of kale, arugula, and spinach growing so sweetly in the greenhouse, a gorgeous hike, blue mountains and a vast, heavenly-white landscape, a gathering of good friends, a cozy house, and the best family in the world.
Wishing you so much beauty and peace now and always!! AND lots of sunshine…
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© 2010 jenny sue kostecki-shaw · coloredsock@mac.com · 575 586 1726
HELLO!
